Calling All Infertiles: I Want to Hear From You
This morning, I received the following comment from “Neena” (I didn't correct any of the typos... I'm literally cutting and pasting exactly what was written, how it was written):
First and foremost, Neena – I’m very sorry to hear of your loss at 20 weeks. No one should have to go through that and I wouldn’t pretend for one second to know what that is like. More than anything, you have my deepest and sincerest condolences.
As for my response, I could attempt to address each of your accusations, criticisms and frankly, some of your seemingly hate filled statements but would it change your mind? Probably not. I can only say this: It’s clear from your comment that you’re hurting and angry. And frankly, after five in vitro’s and a loss at 20 weeks, no one would ever blame you. However, the thing that’s also very clear from your comment is you absolutely don’t know me, who I am, what I stand for or what I care about in the slightest. If you did, you would know how truly off base and incorrect what you wrote about me is.
That being said, I do appreciate you sharing this very strong opinion. I have no doubt that others who have read my blog may feel exactly as you do. This is why I wanted to dedicate today’s post to your comment. I hope you will check back, read what others say and then, I'd strongly recommend you stop reading my blog. You seem like you'd be much happier if you simply don't read what I write and went on on to read some one else's blog you can better relate to.
So, let’s talk about it, shall we? Readers, commentors, infertiles, pregnant infertiles, new mom’s and anyone else who stops by and reads my blog, what do you think? I want to hand this over to you. If you also have "only" had three in vitros, did you not really suffer? If you get pregnant after dealing with infertility, should you never speak of it again and pretend you no longer care about people still going through it as Neena suggests? Is Infertility a “whose pain is worse?” contest? And most important and most seriously, even though I’ve asked this before, I’ll ask it again, should I retire this blog and just start a new one? Thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions?
And don't worry regular readers -- no matter what the future holds for this blog, I promise at least one more post that will be fun, funny, possibly include the word 'penis' and will return to my regularly scheduled life. I just thought this was worthy to open up for discussion, debate and comments.
As always, sending you all back love, light and humor…
You should change your blog name from the Two Week Wait - because it is misleading. You are not in that place, and you stop pretending to be "one os us". As one of your comments said "Welcome to Mommy World" - you and all like you should be honest and say "Thank the fuck I am out of that Infertile World" - you have now joined "The Club", that the rest of us are still excluded from. Enjoy it and leave the rest of us to our grief for goodness sake. Oh and by the way, 3 IVFs and you are pregnant - GIVE ME A BREAK! Try 5 IVFs, numerous operations and surgical investigations and a dead baby "born" at 20 weeks and THEN tell me your "boo-hoo-but-yeah for-me" story. Vy the way you adopted and find for your treatments - I assume that you will have the decency not to have a fund for your new baby? I totally sympathise with the person who sent you the "horrid" comment - s/he is hurting like the rest of us and frankly when we first came to read your blog it rang "true" - now it is just bogus, and supercilious, because frankly, you should now be blogging as you truthfully are - thankful to be pregnant and away from the hell of infertility. You may think that you still have the right to write about infertility - I personally think you should keep your patronising "I'm going to be a Mommy" drivel to yourself - but heh, what Mommy-to-be EVER keeps her patronising drivel to herself these days. I am totally surprised that you did not post up your sonogram - that would have been more honest. Oh, and as for you writing to your relative - SHAME ON YOU. You had no right to appease yourself at her expense - you can NEVER understand what she has been through unless you have been there too (and I have, and even I would think thrice about writing to her!)and luckily for you, you have not .....YET.
First and foremost, Neena – I’m very sorry to hear of your loss at 20 weeks. No one should have to go through that and I wouldn’t pretend for one second to know what that is like. More than anything, you have my deepest and sincerest condolences.
As for my response, I could attempt to address each of your accusations, criticisms and frankly, some of your seemingly hate filled statements but would it change your mind? Probably not. I can only say this: It’s clear from your comment that you’re hurting and angry. And frankly, after five in vitro’s and a loss at 20 weeks, no one would ever blame you. However, the thing that’s also very clear from your comment is you absolutely don’t know me, who I am, what I stand for or what I care about in the slightest. If you did, you would know how truly off base and incorrect what you wrote about me is.
That being said, I do appreciate you sharing this very strong opinion. I have no doubt that others who have read my blog may feel exactly as you do. This is why I wanted to dedicate today’s post to your comment. I hope you will check back, read what others say and then, I'd strongly recommend you stop reading my blog. You seem like you'd be much happier if you simply don't read what I write and went on on to read some one else's blog you can better relate to.
So, let’s talk about it, shall we? Readers, commentors, infertiles, pregnant infertiles, new mom’s and anyone else who stops by and reads my blog, what do you think? I want to hand this over to you. If you also have "only" had three in vitros, did you not really suffer? If you get pregnant after dealing with infertility, should you never speak of it again and pretend you no longer care about people still going through it as Neena suggests? Is Infertility a “whose pain is worse?” contest? And most important and most seriously, even though I’ve asked this before, I’ll ask it again, should I retire this blog and just start a new one? Thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions?
And don't worry regular readers -- no matter what the future holds for this blog, I promise at least one more post that will be fun, funny, possibly include the word 'penis' and will return to my regularly scheduled life. I just thought this was worthy to open up for discussion, debate and comments.
As always, sending you all back love, light and humor…
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